The young father’s past life lover.alva01

For your baby. Numerous studies have shown that when dads are actively involved with their infants, they are more secure, confident, independent, and more interested in exploring the world around them than babies who are deprived of quality time with their fathers in the first year. They’re also more comfortable around strangers, handle stressful situations better, and perform better on motor-development and intelligence tests. Other studies have shown that toddlers whose fathers took a special interest in childcare were two to six months ahead of schedule on tests of development, problem-solving skills and social skills.

The benefits for your partner and your relationship. Division-of-labor issues are right up there with money as a top marital stressor. Not surprisingly, the more involved you are and the more you support your partner, the happier she’ll be in her relationship and the better she’ll be as a parent. When your partner is a happy person, you will be as well, which benefits your relationship.

For you. Being an involved father will affect you in many ways. You’ll learn to feel, express and manage emotions (positive, negative and everything in between) you never knew you had. You’ll be more empathetic and better able to see things from others’

Hold her (or him). Newborns love to be held and carried around. If you can, take off your shirt—skin-to-skin contact helps warm the baby, and you’ll love it too. It’s perfectly fine for you to lie down on your back and let the baby nap face down on your chest. Note: This is the only time she should sleep on her tummy.

Talk to her. Explain everything you’re doing, tell her what’s happening in the news, and so forth—it will help her get to know the rhythm of language.

Change her. It doesn’t sound like fun, but diaper changing is a highly underrated bonding experience—a great time to interact with baby one-on-one, rub her belly, tickle her knees, and kiss her tiny fingers. For at least the first month or so, she needs to be changed every two hours—so there are plenty of opportunities.

Within two or three years, it’s likely your child will learn to crawl, stand, walk, run, and form one- and two-syllable words. Psychologist Lawrence Kutner likens toddlerhood to a musical fugue in which “the themes of intellectual, physical, emotional, and social development intertwine.” Read all about how to interact with your growing baby in my book The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the Toddler Years, 12–36 Months.

Being a teacher, moral guide and role model.

Being there physically and emotionally and being available from the beginning.

Doing hands-on things (feeding, bathing, changing, reading, playing, running errands, showing affection, etc.).

Being an equal partner in parenting.

Not being stuck in the role of the “wait-till-your-dad-comes-home” disciplinarian.

Being a good provider (financially) and protector (keeping the family safe).

Armin A. Brott is a nationally recognized parenting expert and the author of the best-selling New Father series and “Ask Mr. Dad,” a syndicated advice column.

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